I screwed up over the weekend. Here’s how.

We are presently on our way home from our cabin, so I’m posting from my cell phone.

I used my time at the cabin to do a lot of reading about depression. I’ve read it all before but wanted to read it all again. I wanted to refresh my memory to be sure that what I write on this blog is up-to-date and in sync with the latest research.

It is.

I was reminded that we have come a long way in our understanding of what therapy works and what therapy doesn’t work for the treatment of depression.

More and more, researchers are discovering that cognitive therapy works as well as medication, that depression responds remarkably well to exercise. (This is in reference to mild to moderate depression, which is my main focus in this blog.)

I find, however, that using the words “mild to moderate” depression certainly makes it sound less painful than it is.

Even mild depression feels awful.

I was also reinforced that we do have a personal role in managing our depression.

While depression has many causes, the road to recovery has a remarkable commonality to which almost every researcher and mental health professional ascribes.

Our little place up north is one of the most peaceful places ever and yet I found my mood dropped a couple of times. I felt anxious over something someone said, or more accurately didn’t say.

I further have to confess that I used my feeling as an excuse to indulge in junk food. I felt sorry for myself so this was my way to make myself better.

Shame on me.

Immediately (after I ate a candy bar, Why couldn’t it have been before for crying out loud?) I realized I had used my low mood as an excuse. I got right back on track.

I prayed about it and asked God to keep me more in touch with my confused feelings. I want to be aware when I’m using my sad thoughts as an excuse, a justification, to do what isn’t good for me.

Depression is complex and we each respond differently to And yet most us manage to make our depression worse through our self-indulgent behaviors.

For some it might mean excessive sleeping, TV binging, alcohol. For me, it’s food.

And while I don’t gain weight easily, that makes my behavior even more self- indulgent.

But, we must remember that a fall from grace is all it is, a fall. It’s not the end of the world. It’s forgivable even though it’s not always reversible.

After all, an eaten candy bar is still an eaten candy bar. I can’t undo it.But it means I can use the experience to remind me that a low mood does not justify a bad choice. It’s just plain stupid.

I hope my honesty today shows you I’m a real person who makes mistakes. And I hope it helps you in your struggles as well.

God bless and I good you have a good day.

(The photo you see is at my she-shed.)