No one but us knows about the true and troubled condition of our hearts.
Our heart is known only by God.
He knows our deepest failings. He knows how sometimes we are so judgemental and unkind without ever doing anything overtly enough for anyone to know. But we carry those failings around and they weigh us down.
We know that God gets it. We know we can confess it and be forgiven. That’s not an issue. The issue is this:
We may confess but we are not willing to change. We are not really remorseful because if we were we would change our thinking and our behavior.
We confess because we want to feel better.
(Remember, depression itself is not a sin. See that post here. But sin may have got us there and sin may well keep us there.)
We’re like the kid who gets caught with his hands in the cookie jar. We’re not really sorry about the cookie, we’re just sorry we got caught.
In this case, it’s our inauthentic self that has been caught. We try to pretend we’re better than we are OR we are worse than we are.
Most of us are somewhere in between.
Can we still confess, and be forgiven when we aren’t willing to change? I guess the question is really, would that be called confession in the first place? God looks at confession as being tied intimately to repentance and true repentance means to change.
“Go and sin no more.” were the words Jesus spoke to the woman caught in adultery.
We don’t know what happened when this woman walked away. But this had been her lifestyle for many, many, years. People expected this of her so I’m sure there were pressures to return to her previous manner of making a living. I’ll bet she fell a few times before she got it right. Then again, maybe she got it right from the minute she heard the words of Jesus. We don’t know.
I would like to think that an encounter like that with Jesus would change anyone except I’ve been caught in sin myself and didn’t change right away either. While my sins are not ones anyone sees, they still linger in my heart and when I’m unkind or judgemental, I know I’ve let them gain a stronghold. I know I have to ask forgiveness and change my attitude.
But I also think that those words, “Let him who is not guilty, cast the first stone” reminded her that her sin was no greater than that of her accusers.
So if sin is weighing you down today, confess it to God and accept His forgiveness. Whether or not you share with anyone else should be considered with care.
Don’t let sin compound your depression. If you fail again, remember God is there again. If you keep putting one “confessing” foot in front of the other and keep trying to change, I know that you will eventually find yourself in your rightful position with God.
I know that because I know God loves each of us and wants a relationship with us when we are at our worst. Like a parent, God’s love for us is perhaps best received when we are at our worst.
God bless each of you.
The post, “When we’re the only ones who know about our sin” appeared first on thegiftofdepression.com